Why it matters how we portray male and female roles in comics
“And while girls were being encouraged to question traditional notions of femininity, a tendency for boys to misbehave at school was perceived as “normal” male behaviour.” Canberra Times
That’s why I write Designated Sidekick. Because “Normal Male Behaviour” is a sexist cliche that needs to be broken down and beaten to a bloodied pulp when and where opportunity presents itself.
Preset societal roles for women were and are consciously rejected, and the battle to break those down continues minute by minute. Along the way, it’s time for the males who want to cast off the roles that society say are “normal male behaviours” to step up, speak out and undermine that status quo.
Otherwise, we’re letting our side down here fellas, and if we won’t put the yards in, who the hell will?
"Normal male behavior" is a crippler. It's the reason my guy flinched for two years (we were twenty years younger) when I touched him unexpectedly when I first got him–his dad thought he was weak and would flick him on the head from behind to toughen him up. Men spend their lives questioning their sexuality because they have "soft" feelings for affection and connection that aren't on a list that was drummed into them by men who yelled and women who said that this was what men did. Guys who don't want to hit and push are mocked by boys and girls alike who think they aren't manly as a result.
They choose fields of endeavor they think are appropriate, rather than the ones they want, because they are still trying to fit that list.
They drink, get ulcers, grind their teeth, have a higher rate of heart disease, and die earlier, because they aren't allowed to express fear, unhappiness, pain, or complex feelings without more of that mockery. Even now, when other standards are available for comparison, there are still people who refuse to admit the old forms of masculinity just don't fit a faster-paced, high-tech, rapid communication world.
The men who subscribe blindly to the old formulas are getting left behind by women who are more educated and more aware, women who are learning they don't have to settle for what was. They don't have to stand around either for abuse or to watch a beloved man self-destruct.
We talk about the downside for women, but you're right. We need to talk more about the downside for men, because this model locks them into a very small world. I know a lot of men who have broken out, and a lot who haven't. I'd like to see a lot more men take a look at what's considered "normal male behavior" and realize it's an outdated, unrealistic, damaging construct. It's time the guys started creating their own lives, not someone else's idea of them, and time for the women to start enforcing that creation instead of the old recipe.
Comment by Tamora Pierce — October 7, 2006 @ 3:12 am
Something that's really sad to me is that the loudest voices have tended to be thouse who alternate between blaming feminism for creating this image of men, and blaming it for "trying to make men something they're not". Men who do break out and make the effort to talk about this are so often met with insults and emasculation from other men.
I think it is important for women to encourage this sort of creation outside the narrow frame (Tamora, I think enforce might be too strong a word), but sometimes I wonder, (though not in a way that makes me actually stop, mind) can that encouragement from women harm as well as hinder, by contributing to the 'whipped' (I really hate that term) image? I'm genuinely curious, here. I mean, part of me thinks that this kind of insulting response is probably (sadly) somewhat inevitable in the current culture, but is there such a thing as being too encouraging?
Comment by Jen — October 10, 2006 @ 10:39 am
>>is there such a thing as being too encouraging?<<
Yeesh.
That idea (all too possible) just plain sucks.
I meant "enforcing" as in teaching it in the home to their boykids, reinforcing the new idea, rathering than reinforcing the old limited stereotype in its limited aspects.
But the burden is on the guys, you're right. We help, and they get the rap of being *****whipped.
::sigh::
Sucks.
Comment by Tammy Pierce — October 17, 2006 @ 1:16 am
Tam, thanks for clarifying your use of 'enforcing'; I think that's certainly useful and necessary.
And yeah, it's somewhat disheartening.
Comment by jen — October 17, 2006 @ 8:41 am