DC Comics unsubscribes from me

April 5th, 2009
Stikfas Bats
Image by Dr Stephen Dann via Flickr

I’ve been very silent lately for one reason (plus I could have sworn I posted a version of this a few months back).  I was a DC fan.  My pull list consisted of Blue Beetle,  Robin, Nightwing and Birds of Prey, a few bits of Batman and Booster Gold.

With the insufferably bad Crisis on Finite Batman storyline, which, back in <a href=http://www.girl-wonder.org/designatedsidekick/2008/06/28/comics-round-up-the-ds-reading-list-for-june/>June 28 2008</a> I called the Jezebel Jade storyline. (She had the double – a villain and copped a ManBat fridging), I quit the BatFranchise.  Then the rest of the BatFranchise quit me.  The complete waste of death of Batman actually depressed me at the technical story writer level.  The Death of Batman should have been a central story arc for the entire DCU, and not some complex footnote in the story arc of Crisis 2009.

Like I said back then, DC needs to hire writers. Teams that could make the death of Batman something that fundamentally shook the core of the DCU, made every non-metahuman character reconsider their role if Batman, the best of the human, could be beaten, how could they deal? Plus, since Batman was so universally influential, his death by a team of supervillians would elevate those villains threat profiles astronomically.  Also, consider the competitive rivalry amongst the DCU villians now these clowns were responsible for the take down of the greates Detective ever… could Lex Luthor stand the humiliation? Would the Arkham Asylum inmates feel cheated of their revenge and seek new targets? How many Batverse villians would find their motivation waning now they weren’t challenging Batman? Would victory drive Joker sane?  All these and more could have been the dawn of an awesome era of story telling.

Instead we have Dick versus Tim versus Jason versus Randy Orton  in “Battle for the Cowl”. Oh, and Steph Brown being sacked as Spoiler. Again. Because that worked out as a clever story arc last time.

Right.

Wake me when Bruce comes back from the dead in 12 months, and somebody learns how to make BatBrat Damien interesting.

Since  now with all bar one of my regular comics stopped at the publisher side, and there’s a sequence of fearfully dull crossover arcs infecting the DCU,  I’m fishing around for a new franchise.  I’m not too keen on the Marvel Universe and I have routinely had problems following the internal logics of their universe

Anyone have anything positive/negative to say about the Wildstorm franchise? Specifically Gen 13, Stormwatch: PHD, Authority, and Wildcats?

Anything good in the IDW franchises?

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Just for the record

April 5th, 2009

I agree with Karen Healey

If you must be so overtly gendered when marketing, don’t insult the target market in the press releases. Do what you usually do, and insult them with gendered roles in the merchandise.

Now back to sulking in my cave because all the comics I read bar Booster Gold got canceled on me, and Booster Gold is heading towards an epic fail story arc.

PS: re Batman “No Case Just In Case” clause.

January 22nd, 2009

There’s no case for a case for Batman.  After all, we can’t prove he’s really dead.  No body in Gotham, and are we really going to accept mummified remains served Sunny(Dark)seid up as the Dead Batman From The Gotham Incident?

Besides. Mister Miracle got out of that Omega Death Dimension, and he doesn’t even have that whole track record of being killed repeatedly by the infinitely powerful Joker from Superman: Emperor Joker. (Yes, I remember that. Featured an awesome use of “Oof Sock and Pow”. Back in the day when you could rock the four colour panels. BACK IN THE DAY). Since Hypertime and FiniteCrisis on Infinite Crossover (Year Zero? I lost track) means all alternate universes are connected to the main timeline… it counts.

So. No corpse (there was a funeral for Steph with a body. A body Bruce forgot to validate was Steph’s. Not that a guy who had the whole “Well damn, looks like Jason’s coffin’s case was empty all along” would fall for the fake burial move twice.  No sirree. Not twice. Not after carrying a DEAD JASON TODD out of the ruins of a factory… oh nevermind)

In short. Can’t be sure he’s dead, therefore, can’t justify a case

Don’t blame me, you’re the one who started it. We just wanted a memorial case, and you gave us the reason to deny a Batman-in-a-jar.

DS ((The Grumpy)

(PS: If Blackest Night kills Wonder Woman, you really need a new Wheel of (mis)Fortune for central casting)

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The Goddamn BatRobin Bobbin? WTF COSTUME?

January 22nd, 2009
One Part Batman, One Part Robin

One Part Batman, One Part Robin = No Part good idea

I will alway refer to the Batcowl + Robin costume as The Bobbin.

Okay. Okay. This is hard.  I know you’re leaving me. You canned Robin, sacked Steph again (after only recently reinstating her in such a canon jarringly bad way), killed Bruce is such a hysterically bad way, canned Blue Beetle just before his big silver screen push and you’ve probably going to quit Booster Gold on me.

DC, we’ve been through some rough times, some good times, and now there’s this.  You’ve made it clear you want to dump me, and this time, I’m out.

Screw you DC. I’m leaving you for medium with less painful stupidity, and better costume choices.  I’m moving in with the daytime soap operas.

Designated Sidekick out.

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Final Crisis 6

January 15th, 2009

That’s all I have to say that ain’t more spoilery than Steph’s costume design notebook.

Just… I can’t believe the sequence of events leading into the “Big Twist Surprise Spoiler”.  Unless, y’know, Marvel tripped and poured a bucket of Skrull on the Final Crisis Timeline.

Can Superboy Prime take up Timestream Boxing again?  This ending is delightfully hysterically wrong, and needs its own reboot.

ETA: A link to the spoiler filled pages in question.  Oh my canon! Grant Morrison, you silly goose. I can’t believe you did that so…badly.  Like

PS. Marvel did it better.